Things Bleach would never say
by ladybugseatppl
Summary: the things bleach characters wouldn't say or admit to. Enjoy rate review feed my dog. IDK hinted yaoi xD
1. Chapter 1

Warnings some adult things dont say I didn'y warn you. Not for the weak stomched xD This may make you want to buy me a car afterward. but rate for the hell of it, We all worked really hard making this list. Thanks to the friends that gave us names, things to say, and shared laughs with us Ravenanna And Sabrina. Well enjoy ^.^

Things bleach characters would never say: up first:

Aizen:"It's not hair gel, its lube, I use lube in my hair." xD

Szayel: "I'm a pretty pink princess!"

Grimmjow: "Ichigo's sexier then me, and Ulquiorra pwns my ass."

Ulquiorra: "Aizen fails, OH and Hey Grimmjow, your my hero!"

Yumichika: "I forgot to check my hair and make up this mornig!"

Rangiku: "I used to be an A cup."

Ikkaku: "I had an afro."

Stark: "I wanna be leader now, Barrgon you had your turn!"

Nnoitra: "I wear stilts, I'm really a 3 feet and 2 inch tall miget fork. Yeah I'm a poser."

Soi Fon: "Yoruichi is such a bitch."

Rukia: "Renji, You pedo I have the body of a 10 year old!"

Uryu: "I have an obsession with the color fucshia, it's uber FAB!/I'm into wrestling and monster trucks!/I LOVE YOU DADDY"

Gin: "I hate children, especially little boys. I wouldn't get along with Michael Jackson AT ALL!"

Omaeda: "Ugg I'm just a big fat tub of ugly! I need to go on a diet now! No more junk food!"

Hichigo/Hollow Ichigo: "Im Ichigo's little hollow uke! I love my king and I'm glad he owns my ass!"

Ichigo: "I'm a total fag and Orihime is the only girl I would go straight for!"

Byakuya: "I secretly would fuck Rukia over my dead wife.../I smile... when no ones looking."

Maramusa: "O.M.A ((oh my aizen since hes the lord)) Kouga, I fucking hate you. you are such a spoild brat!"

Zenbonsakura: "I'm Byakuya's seruis side./I'm an immature, childish wannabe badass! FEAR ME."

((side note here, Uryu ,Byakuya and his zanpakto are unique and got to have more then one xD))

Zangestu: "I'm a pedofile and I'm going to smex Ichigo up and down tonight xD"

Toshiro: "I just love eating candy, I play with toy trucks/I let Gin rape me xD"

Kenpachi: "I work at KFC. for Kenpachi. Fuck. Chu. up./I used to be a skinny wimpy nerd before anchor arms!" (spongebob joke)

Yachiru: "I lost my virginity to ken-chan 5 years ago!"

Momo: "God I hate Aizen, what was I thinking when I stalked him and took those nude pictures?"

Ilforte: "I fail and Szayel totally pwns me and it makes me sad/I got owned by Renji and a little girl wearing PJ's Isnt life just great?"

Kira Izaru: "I'm emo, and I wish Ichimaru-tachio was here to fill my ass with his seed. And Rangiku-sans big boobs made me gay."

Hisagi: "I want Tousen to buttfuck me, and the 69 on my face means me and Renji love ya babe!"

Isshin: "I swear on my wifes grave I will never abuse my son again by hitting, punching, and/or kicking him when he comes home from school/OMA Ichigo guess what! I'm this thing called a shinigami! We have badass- oh you are too... DAMMIT."

Ryuken: "... Shinigami are so fucking sexy. I watch porn and jack off to the thought of Ichigo. Dont tell Uryu, he'd be mad I likie his seme."

Barragon: "Back then I was a pretty little girl! Now look at me! I'm manly and smell funny..."

Harribel: "I'm only the third espada cuz I slept with the boss... otherwise I would get pwned by Ulquiorra!"

Kon: "I'm gay, I thought if I gropped many large chested women it would cure me, but now I know, ICHIGO your the one for me!"

Okay okay thats about all we and our friends can think of. okay we wanna thank Yoichi Neko, Nnoitra role-player, Rachel, gaarasanime, and any one else we may be missing. Hope you liked. Got anymore review them to us and we'll update this. It was just for fun sorry if you got upset or something. so woo.


	2. Chapter 2

more thingys bleach characters would never say or admit too, cuz you just know some of these are true. xD enjoy.

Nel: *points to Nnoitra.* I'd hit that, twice.

Aizen: "Fear my cubey ma thingy of death!"

Ulquiorra: "I'm seme tonight, Grimmjow."

Wonderweiss: "My little pony, sweet walking pony,"

Tousen: "Aizen no your wrong! Thats not how the cubey ma thingy of death works!/ Oh I rape Wonderwiess every night. You could say I'm a prist,"

Ririn: "Ichigo, I love you."

Inoue: "Oh I'm gay. Sorry Ichigo, I woulda thought you would know since like I never went out with any of the guys that crawl at my feet ^.^"

Uryu: "I miss my daddy, I hope he'll forgive me!"

Grimmjow: "I'm a kitty cat! And I dance Dance Dance, and I dance dance dance, ALL FOR ULQUIORRA."

Rukia: "Dude Nii-sama can not DRAW. Omg like really? I can do better."

Darth Vader: "Oh shit wrong fanfic... uh sorry..."

Chad: "I'm a talktive person. no really I am. I think I talk to much."

Mayuri: "Nemu isn't a sex toy./ I respect Nemu very much for her loyalty and smartness. One day I hope to see her surpass me!"

Nemu: "I wish Uryu Ishida would have just killed Mayuri-sama when he had the chance! I could have been free! But noooo he had to have a heart! Stupid humans."

Ryuken: "QUINCY PRIDE!"

Hana: "I'm a huge fighter, its what I love to watch and do, Hell I even beat Kenpachi! Cuz I pwn!"

Shinji: "I'm hiding from Aizen, under your bed. Shhh!"

Ukitake: "Littlekids get on my nerves. I want to kill them all!"

Stark: "That was a great nap, I feel like I can stay awake for 1000's of years now!"

Lilynette: "Today I think I'll let Stark sleep, even tho theres an espade meeting and hes needed by Aizen-sama!"

tis all we thought of for the moment, we well add more to the list when we have time.


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